Memoirs of a Generally Bitter Young Woman
"The highs and lows of life"
Nonsensical stories interlaced with tidbits of truth,
irony and poetry.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Ha Ha Ha HA!!!
Linchy kinchee koly moly dingo dingo
My middle sister and I were reminiscing about scary stories today since it is of course Halloween. There is a favorite book that we read frequently as children. I don’t remember if we actually owned this book, or if it was one of our library favorites. The oldest sister used to read these stories to us. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark this book is awesome. I have memorized several poems from this little ditty and fondly remember many of the stories Like the Big Toe, The Wendigo, “May I Carry Your Basket?”, and Me Tie Dough-ty Walker.... they were all good.
There are certain phrases that bring creeps to my skin and “Linchy kinchee koly moly dingo dingo” is one of them.
Once when I was a kid, me and my middle sister and her best friend would sit in the little green gremlin in the driveway and tell each other ghost stories. The Lady with the Ribbon Around Her Neck, High Beams, The Hook... and we scared ourselves so badly that we couldn’t get out of the car for fear that there would be a hook on the door.
After the Halloween at the White house the other night we were pulling away from our parking spot when there was a thunk on the car – I checked my mirrors for hooks on the door handles.
Funny that I love horror, I love horror movies and scary stories and books about ghosts, but really just under the surface I’m scared to death of a lot of things.
Did you know that I hear footsteps behind me in the dark?
I can’t sleep in a room with an open closet
I will not watch movies involving EVP
I will not watch or read anything regarding the story of Bloody Mary
I am terrified of mirrors in dark rooms
And in the dark if I hear a thump on my car I check for hooks
If someone shines their high beams I worry there is a murderer in my backseat
I’m frightened to be home alone
I’m scared of my parents house at night
2007 Halloween Movie Month Continues
Bleh – Bad. Wouldn’t recommend
Meh – neither bad nor good just “meh”
Okay – maybe I’d watch it again
Great – Loved It! I’d Probably Buy it
Freaky – Bothered me
Yikes – Stay Away from this one
Dumb – Self explanatory
Pending – Still waiting to be watched
~+~
Jekyll + Hyde (2006) – Bleh
The Feeding (2006) – Bleh
The Gathering (2005) – Okay
The Covenant (2006) – Pending
Rose Mary’s Baby (1968) – Pending
Another oldie but goodie for Halloween:
he filled his garden full of seeds.
And when the seeds began to grow,
it was like a garden filled with snow.
But when the snow began to melt,
It was like a ship without a belt.
And when the ship began to sail,
It was like a bird without a tail.
And when the bird began to fly,
It was like an eagle in the sky.
And when the sky began to roar,
It was like a lion at my door.
And when the door began to crack,
It was like a penknife in my back.
And when my back began to bleed,
I was dead, dead indeed
poems I can't get out of my head
This is a favorite poem from childhood. It is from the Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark book that is still a favorite of mine. Would you believe that I memorized this poem in 3rd grade and then shared it with my entire class for Show and Tell.
Never laugh when a hearse goes by
for you may be the next to die
they'll wrap you in a big white sheet
from your head down to your feet
then put you in a big black box
and cover you up with dirt and rocks
all goes well for about a week
then your coffin begins to leak
worms crawl in, worms crawl out
worms play pinochle on your snout
your stomach turns a slimy green
and puss pours out like whipping cream
you spread it on a slice of bread
that's what you eat when you are dead.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
My 25 Favorite Books:
- The Phantom of the Opera (Gaston LeRoux)
- Lord of the Flies (William Golding)
- Lord of the Rings (trilogy) (J.R.R. Tolkien)
- The Scarlet Pimpernel (Baroness Orczy)
- Herman the Brave Pig (Miriam Evangeline Mason)
- To Kill a Mocking Bird (Harper Lee)
- The Series of Unfortunate Events (series) (Lemony Snicket)
- Anne of Green Gables (series) (L.M. Montgomery)
- Banner in the Sky (James Ramsey Ullman)
- And Then There Were None (Agatha Christie)
- The Calico Captive (Elizabeth George Speare)
- The Giver (Lois Lowry)
- Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)
- The Princess Bride (William Goldman)
- The Wheel of Time (series) (Robert Jordan)
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (Roald Dahl)
- The Arm of the Starfish (Madeleine L'Engle)
- A Wrinkle in Time (Madeleine L'Engle)
- Ghosts I Have Been (Richard Peck)
- Sideways Stories from Wayside School (Louis Sachar)
- Alice in Wonderland (Lewis Carroll)
- Anthem (Ayn Rand)
- A Little Princess (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
- Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl (Anne Frank)
- The Secret Garden (Frances Hodgson Burnett)
Family Home Evening
Monday, October 29, 2007
My 25 Worst Movies:
Movies I Will Never Watch Again:
- White Noise
- Scream (all of them)
- Austin Powers (all of them)
- Silent Hill
- The Legend of Hell House
- 28 Days Later
- The Ring
- Down to You
- Matrix: Reloaded
- The Haunting (1999 version)
- Dumb and Dumber
- The Mask
- Entrapment
- James Bond: Casino Royale
- Bio-Dome
- Son-in-Law
- Zorro, the Gay Blade
- Top Gun
- Black Sheep
- Night at the Roxbury
- Zoolander
- Soylent Green
- Planet of the Apes (2001 version)
- Space Balls
- 13 Ghosts
My 25 Best Movies:
- The Princess Bride
- Big Fish
- Stardust
- Moulin Rouge
- The Note Book
- It’s a Wonderful Life
- Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
- Tomb Raider
- Lady and the Tramp
- Tristan & Isolde
- Sleeping Beauty
- BraveHeart
- Easter Parade
- The Wizard of Oz
- Shaun of the Dead
- Hot Fuzz
- Ghost Busters
- To Kill a Mocking Bird
- Peter Pan (2003)
- Finding Neverland
- The Last Unicorn
- The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
- Babe
- Thumbelina (1994)
- Ed Wood
Book Review
By Lucia Capacchione, PhD
To start off with, the writer of this book is a Counselor who uses Creative Writing and Art Therapy as ways of getting through to people.
This book is great. I have recently found that I feel a need to write in my journal, but that my life isn't exciting enough to put on paper. Amazingly enough I was staring at my bookshelf and there it was. This book. I bought it while I was on my mission thinking it would be interesting to have different ideas for journal entries. But I packed it away and it hasn't been seen since. Until now.
Dr. Capacchione lists several different journal writing exercises and ways to use your writings to better understand yourself. She also reminds you over and over that your journal is yours. It doesn't matter that you can't spell or draw and no one is grading you or judging you by what you write so make your journal a part of you and do what you feel because no one should be reading it but you.
All in all this book was very informitive and I have been writing in my journal for the past few weeks not I just have to keep it up - I have also been using some of the topics proposed in the book as blog inspiration.
Hat Day @ Work
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Halloween Parties
The last one was hosted by one of my former companions at her parents house where she introduced her mission friends to her home friends, people I like to call the "Hill People" because of where they live in Bountiful - it was a good party. John and I were dressed in matching clothes. Like people from the 60's. I don't really know what we were, maybe Donnie and Marie, maybe Austin Powers, who knows, I just know that we were cute, but we always are. :)
Last night, the party was at the "White House" it was a blast. It was a costume party, but there were a lot of people who didn't show up in costume. Of course I went as a pirate (arrrgh!) and John was dressed as "V" from V for Vendetta. The party started early but we showed up fashionably late. Pulling up to the house in the first place it wasn't hard to guess where the party was, there were more Halloween decorations then I think I've seen at most stores. There was a grave yard and a blow-up mummy on the front lawn and an awesome blow-up skull with a spider on top of the porch and the lights up the walk way were skull heads in lanterns. And there was no shortage of screaming rocks warning you to beware. By the time we got to the house there were about a billion little kids running amuck in the back yard where there was the doughnut on the string game and bobbing for apples. In one corner of the yard was a Gigantic blow-up haunted house, which by-the-way is one of the coolest things ever, and in the other corner of the yard was yet another cemetery and a blow-up horse drawn hearse that was pretty awesome too. Inside the house there was all sorts of fun too. I was impressed at the abundant amount of Halloween decorations that Penny had. So many that it made me quite jealous, but one day that'll be me. I'm guessing that the party was mostly for the granddaughter and her little friends it was totally cute with all these little kids in their costumes running around. There was a craft room set aside for decorating foam pumpkins and/or doing Halloween sand art. They also took every ones pictures as you came and then printed them out and let everyone make their own picture frames. Seriously, when I say they went all out for this party, they went ALL OUT. There was Halloween themed food with mummy sandwiches, little weenie rolls shaped like toes and mummies and spiders and there was pudding and chili and chips and spinach dip... mmmmm. I was certainly enjoying myself. Later in the evening after most of the children had gone home there was a Wii Bowling tournament and John won 2nd place on that. They had a costume contest where john walked away with best costume. So in the end John took home 2 trophies and I just got the standard prizes, but that's okay.
It really was just a great time all around. I got to hang out with my brother and my husband, dress as a pirate and enjoy a party I wasn't in charge of. It was an excellent night. We just had a really great time. So if you had been invited and you didn't come, you really missed out and next time you should make time. :)
So, when I say she's Fat...
I won!!!
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Once Upon a time.....
Lately though, since I started this silly blog, it seems that my head is full of useless words that don't seem to come out correctly on paper, or I have the thought but it's gone before I pick up a pen. And then suddenly I have diarrhea of the brain while typing and the world (or maybe just my family) gets to read whatever comes out. So why is that?
I have a giant gray binder in my spare room that holds every one of my stories from the time I was 13 until I stopped writing just before I went on my mission. I think the last poem I wrote was a love poem to a friend who turned around and stabbed me in the back. And I think that maybe I have an issue with picking up an unfinished story because it was with her that I had found the inspiration to write it. This was going to be my one great novel: http://www.angelfire.com/co3/jedijunk/stupidmen.html
I had the plot worked out, the story firm in my mind and I was on a roll. Sure, There was lots of parts that needed to be fleshed out, but I assumed that would come in time.
I realize now, what I didn't then, that I needed to do more reasearch about the where's and who's and how's of what was going on, but for an 18 year old girl I thought I was doing pretty good. Three Stupid Men and a Very Confused Girl was going to be my best seller. See how that turned out. hmph. Not selling so good now is it.
Then there was my poetry: http://www.angelfire.com/co3/jedijunk/poetry.html all very entertaining, often filled with darkness and very often confusing, but it was fun to write and to be read and I found it to be a release for the world around me. I could sound as crazy as I wanted and I wouldn't be judged for it or mocked because they were just words and I was such a sweet happy girl with friends and a happy life so what does it mean when I'm talking to flowers or jumping out windows in my words?
Friday, October 26, 2007
Carve a Pumpkin
http://www.coasttocoastam.com/timages/page/pumpkin_sim.html
2007 Horror Movie Month Reviews
This month used to only be the month of October, but since we have so much fun with it the past few years it has started at the beginning of September.
I have compiled a partial list here of what we have watched this past Movie Month - I know I'm missing a few and there are some on there that we didn't watch this year, but that I thought were worth mentioning:
Bleh – Bad. Wouldn’t recommend
Meh – neither bad nor good just “meh”
Okay – maybe I’d watch it again
Great – Loved It! I’d Probably Buy it
Freaky – Bothered me
Yikes – Stay Away from this one
Dumb – Self explanatory
Pending – Still waiting to be watched
~+~+~+~
John Carpenter’s Ghosts of Mars (2001) – Bleh
The Swamp Thing (1982) – Meh
An American Haunting (2005) – Meh
The Legend of Hell House (1973) – Okay
Invasion of the Pod People (2007) – Bleh/Yikes
John Carpenter’s The Thing (1998) – Okay
Shaun of the Dead (2004) – Great
Session 9 (2001) – Okay
White Noise (2005) – Freaky
The Haunting (1999) – Dumb
Silent Hill (2006) – Meh/Freaky
Jason X (2001) – Great
The Gate (1987) – Okay
28 Days Later (2002) – Meh
Wait Until Dark (1967) – Great
Sleepy Hollow (2000) – Great
Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) – Great
Cursed (2005) – Okay
The Adventures of Ichabod and Mr. Toad (1949) – Great
Hellraiser (1987) – Bleh
Slither (2006) – Okay
The Covenant (2006) – Pending
Rose Mary’s Baby (1968) – Pending
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Should have stayed in bed
So far I have bashed my knee on my drawers and/or the filing cabinet.
I have broken my zippy thing that holds my ID Tag because the chair didn't let go.
I have whacked my funny bone on the edge of my desk top.
And just a moment ago I sat down and turned in my chair and successfully smashed my hand (wedding ring and all) between the arm of my chair and the desk top. Ouch that hurts.
It's only 12:30 and I still have 3 hours left....
I've lost it
the pattern that I was using for my quilt blocks.
I'm afraid that I may have thrown it away in my sweep of the kitchen last Saturday.
See what happens when people come to my house!?!
I clean and things get lost.
My New Favorite Snack ... and breakfast
Quaker Granola Bites
14g Carbs
6g Sugar
2g Protein
These were so yummy
but I only had 2 little bags and now they're gone :(
I want some more.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Thanks Wounderful Wife Of Mine
Hi - It's Your wife =
Isn't that nice of me :)
The black was too Bleh and I wanted to see the title of your blog.
I know that you love me, and I know that you don't mind so there you go.
So you may now return to your regularly scheduled avoidance of typing on here.
Thank You. Drive through. Meow Meow.
I hate to admit it...
But I’m STILL reading that horrible book. You know, Dragon Rider by Cornelia Funke. I have tried putting it aside, and I have tried ignoring it, but the fact that I have only read half of it eats at me on a daily basis as I stare at it here on my cubicle shelf. It sits there and mocks me. Mock Mock Mock. So I pick it up and think to myself I should be almost done with it by now how much longer can this book drag out... and then I find my Orlando Bloom Book Mark smack in the middle of this 523 page book. NO! As of lunch time today I’m on page 293. I’m just over the midway mark.
Why does it drive me so crazy to just walk away from a book? Especially when I already think it is no good.
Ha Ha. Kitty is funny.
I think she's beautiful. I think she probably just needs lots of love and to not be locked in the bathroom all day. Give the kitty some freedom, and she'll impress you at how smart she is and what she'll learn to do. Cats sometimes seem too smart for their own good. But remember, cats are cats, and by nature they are temperamental. I hope your kitty is snuggly and lovable because mine are not.
Mahana Meows a lot, but we have decided that she is just meowing at evil. or maybe she's angry because we don't listen to her and so she just meows more. or maybe she's trying to warn us of a coming disaster and we're still not listening. or maybe she's threatening us and we just can't tell because it's all meows and not words. I tell her to use her words periodically, but she never does.
Do I have a “History of Asthma”?
I cough in the summer.
I cough in the winter.
I cough if I laugh.
I cough when I’m not stuffy at all.
I cough because of the inversion.
I can’t breathe up in the mountains.
I cough if I wrestle with my husband.
I hyperventilate when I play tag with my cat.
I periodically have coughing fits when over exerting myself.
I can’t climb more then one a flight of stairs without stopping halfway to breathe.
I get winded walking from one end of my house to the other. (Isn’t this because I’m fat? Or am I fat because I can’t breathe?)
Odd as it seems I also can’t breathe if I drink carbonated beverages. (does this have anything to do with asthma?)
I think it goes back to the statement: “I think I should have gone to the doctor more as a teenager.” What if I have had all these problems all this time and it was just never caught? Hmmm. that was the interesting question that my husband asked yesterday. In our family we only really went to the doctor if you were broken. Could this be an ongoing problem that was just never diagnosed? When the doctors ask if I have had a “history of...” I always say no because there is no recorded history and I have probably written the problem off as related to something else.
I seriously have felt a million times better since I have had my inhaler and can breathe again. I’m not tired. I haven’t had to stop at the top of the stairs to not die when I walk into work in the morning. And oddly enough I don’t get heart burn as much when I can breathe. That’s a weird side effect.
So the next time the doctor asks if I have a history of asthma the answer is yes.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Ode to Nicole
Ode to Nicole on her 16th Birthday
(a little late)
By: Aunt Liz
Wow, You’re sixteen!
Time has flown it seems
You were such a cute little baby
When your mom & Ray were still a maybe
I recall your toothless grin
You were so cute with drool on your chin
I once shared all my toys
But now you’re only interest is boys
You were a cute little girl
Tending you was such a whirl
Your nose it wrinkles when you smile
It's something I've missed for a while
You’ve grown so tall
You’ve grown so pretty
All the time without you has been a pity
You’re so smart
You’re so chic
You’ve finally hit your teenage peak
Please drive safe
Please date smart
Because My Nicole is a work of art.
To Fly or Not To Fly
The Highest I found was $1,468.01 for 2.
I still think it's cheaper to drive.
To Answer Your Question:
Why? Because I don’t feel like it.
I have had all the parties at my house for the last 5 years. Canadian Thanksgiving, Halloween, Christmas, New Years, Birthdays, Game Night, Movie Night, Fondue Night, etc. etc... It seems that to our friends we are the hub of social interaction. For the most part that has been just fine and I don’t mind because if people are coming to my house I don’t have to go to theirs. This way if I’m “done” I can either kick them out, or just go to bed and not lie my way out of doing something because I’d rather just be in my own home.
Don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t make me a bad person or mean that I don’t like hanging out with family or friends, it is just the fact that I think if something is going to happen or if I should die I’d just rather be in my own home and not somewhere else – Paranoia? Yes, most likely.
But this year all holidays thus far have been blown off because there’s really no one around to invite. Two friends have wives and children and in-laws and families of their own. One friend and his wife moved to another state. Another friends just thinks he’s better then us now and doesn’t want to hang out. Our single girl-friend is just a flake, but she always has been, and says she’ll come but then doesn’t. Then there is my friend who is only available once every couple of weeks because he works like 18 jobs and has a social life. So that’s it. And I always invite my sister, but she doesn’t come either.
I’ve given up. I’m to tired to host parties anymore, but now I feel bad for my husband who thrives on social interaction and I’m denying him. I know when I married him, I married his friends, but at the time I wasn’t expecting depression, chronic fatigue, and asthma to rule my life.
When someone says you “CAN'T”
What do I do with myself? I thought about that this morning when I was thinking about John going to school tonight, but I don’t have anything to do while he’s gone. Do I go with him as always? Do I stay home? If I go what do I do for an hour ½? If I stay home what do I do?
I can’t watch Heroes with out John, and I don’t want to start a scary movie by myself... I could nap. But what if I’m not tired. I haven’t been napping tired since I started to breathe again.
This has become a dilemma. If I hadn’t been told not to go, I could come up with a million reasons why I shouldn’t go, but now that I have been told not to, I don’t know what to do.