Saturday, January 31, 2009

It's the Cheesiest!

That saying isn't just for Macaroni anymore.

My husband took me to see Twilight yesterday.

This movie was so cheesy. I purposely haven't seen this movie for the last 2 months because I was expecting it to be terrible. Just like Eragon was terrible.... And I'll admit, the movie wasn't bad, it was just super cheesy.

Everything about it just made me laugh. The serious parts, the sensual parts, the down right stupid parts. It was almost too much for one girl to handle. My husband had to keep shushing me through the movie so I didn't disturb the other 7 people in the theater.

I don't know if I'll be able to see the second one, it might give me a coronary laughing so hard at poor traumatic Bella... Ha Ha HA!
I think I'll just stick to the books.
I will recommend the soundtrack though, that is fantastic. (except for the terrible song by Robert Pattinson... not only is he UGLY but he can't sing either.)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Liz @ the Anniversary Inn

I want this painting.

I captured all the Uber-Zombies!


Last night as I was typing away at my book I paused and thought to myself "why do I think I can be a writer?" what an interesting question. I pondered this thought for a little while and realize that I can trace back my desire to write to one book that inspired me. For anyone that knows me they know that I LOVE to read, so narrowing down anything to just one book is a difficult task, but with out pause I named The Arm of the Starfish by Madeleine L'Engle as what started it all.
The Arm of the Starfish (O'Keefe Family, Book 1)
This book caught my imagination from the beginning and hung on for the entire ride. It's a mystery/thriller that has all the good elements of a story Love, Hate, Betrayal, Intrigue, Espionage, Double agents ... what more could a person ask for in a book. It taught me that your choices in life do matter and that life isn't always black and white and sometimes those gray areas get you.
This was not the first book I ever read, or the last, but it certainly inspired me to write down the stories that were in my head. This book actually inspired my first spy-novel that I have lamented about on this blog once or twice. Perhaps if I read it again I may be inspired to finish my story and relieve poor Willow and Stewart of the peril that I left them in so many years ago... or maybe not. 
I would recommend this book to anyone who loves a good read. Sure, it YA fiction, but come on, admit it, you like reading those books too.
But as LaVar Burton used to say ... "You don't have to take my word for it"

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

'I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.'
-Philippians 4:13

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

some good quotes.

"You are mistaken, my friend," said the abb`e. "There are times when God's justice tarries for a while adn it appears to us that we are forgotten by Him, but the time always comes when we find it is not so, and here is the proof." --The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas


“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together . . . there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart. . . I’ll always be with you.” -- Winnie the Pooh

Today Is the day I start not caring.

The other Saturday my friendly neighborhood Sara appeared on my door step to ask me a very serious question...
The first week of the month there is testimony time in relief society and it seemed that every person that stood up had a pregnancy question to share or an "infertility" comment or "I've been so sad because I haven't been able to get pregnant for 6 months but now I am" or "I wanted another baby (after she already has 3) but it has taken me 4 months to get pregnant" and on and on... I stopped listening at some point and was only brought back to reality when Sara leaned over and placed a tissue on my lap.
I remember coming home from church that week and complaining to John about everyone and their stupid sad stories that to me are just a shallow reflection of what I am feeling and how I feel about the fact that ALL I have ever wanted out of life was to be a mom and those people who are lucky enough to already have 2 or 3 kids can just stop complaining because all I want is just one. One baby and I will thank God every day for that precious gift. But alas, it doesn't happen for me. After that, I dropped the subject and we continued on with our lives as normal and I blocked out the unpleasant experience of relief society.
The very next week as luck would have it we didn't have to teach our Sunday school class so we stayed home in bed because we were lazy and had no desire to venture to church at 9 am.
The following Saturday there was a knock at my door around noon-time and my friendly neighborhood Sara was on my door step. "I need to ask you a serious question." she says. "Was relief society so totally unbearable for you the other week?" And I had to think for a moment. I didn't remember anything about it because I had put it so far out of my mind. So I told her so. She was relieved that my return to relief society wasn't short lived because of the chosen topic for testimonies that month.
It was nice to have her care. Sometimes I really feel like the people in my ward don't care, but I know that Sara does. Sara's a good egg, I sure enjoy having her around. True, there are only like 3 people in the ward that I have even discussed infertility with, so I don't expect anyone to spare my feelings and I do my best to be so happy for the babies that do come, but some time it'd be nice if someone other then Sara would show up to check on me once in a while and show that they cared. I didn't go to church for a little over a year and not once did someone (other then my visiting teachers) show up on my doorstep to let me know that I was missed.
Am I just being selfish wishing that people would show a little more care on my part? Maybe it's my own fault. I'm not the friendly outgoing person that I could be, and maybe my shy quietness comes off as me being stuck up and unfriendly. I don't know. That's just who I am and I don't see my personality changing any time soon.
Whatever. I'm just moody today. Not really an angry moody, more of a depressed do nothing moodiness that I fall into once in a while.

today's thought

"Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding; will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6&7

Saturday, January 24, 2009

7 Years

I just wanted to say that it has been a great 7 years. I love my wife.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Because I missed it :)

I feel like I'm in the back

“Them of the Last Wagon,” President Clark paid tribute to the rank and file, “those great souls, … in name unknown, unremembered, unhonored in the pages of history, but lovingly revered round the hearthstones of their children and their children’s children.”
In every great cause there are leaders and followers. In the wagon trains, the leaders were “out in front where the air was clear and clean and where they had unbroken vision of the blue vault of heaven.” (J. Reuben Clark: Selected Papers, p. 69.) But, as President Clark observed, “Back in the last wagon, not always could they see the brethren way out in front and the blue heaven was often shut out from their sight by heavy, dense clouds of the dust of the earth. Yet day after day, they of the last wagon pressed forward, worn and tired, footsore, sometimes almost disheartened, borne up by their faith that God loved them, that the Restored Gospel was true, and that the Lord led and directed the brethren out in front.”

Why do I read this stuff??

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

I started watching this on PBS last Sunday but it only showed half way and I'll have to wait till next Sunday to see how it ends. But I'll be out of town when the second half comes on and I'll probably never see it. I figured I'll just read the book and see for myself how it ends.
First off I think the only person in this book worth anything is Hareton Earnshaw. He being taken advantage of and mocked and scorned from the day he was born. Where-s everyone else in the book should have known better and should have risen above their biased natures.

I pity Heathclilff and Catherine and think they both deserve what they got and what a horrible man to pine for someone else's wife, and what a terrible wife to wish that your husband would allow you to continue to carry on with your former love.

If I pined and whined about someone the way that Catherine did about Heathcliff my husband would up and leave me. And part of the time I thought that if Edgar had any sense at all he would have left Catherine and let her and Heathcliff kill each other and him not be in the middle of it.
Then there was Isabella who was a terrible human being herself . What a selfish unthankful girl. I can see her meaning on one hand but on the other I think she should have listened more and not scolded so much. And Young Catherine who turned into her mother an brought the beating upon herself. What a wretched girl.
The maid Nelly was no better being a terrible gossip and being the narrator of this whole event to Mr. Lockwood would should have stayed well enough out of other people's business.

I don't think this is a book I shall ever read again.

Today's Capricorn Horoscope:

Jan 23, 2009

Consciously realize that you are someone unique and special, dear Capricorn. Remember this throughout the entire day and let your actions reflect this affirmation. There is a rather distinct intensity to the day that might cause others to be on edge. Don't be disrupted if there is an element of "freaking out" in your world. The good news is that you should be able to handle this intense blast of emotion with no sweat. Emotions are your forte!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Message from Bono

Yesterday, U2 performed in front of hundreds of thousands of people at “We Are One: The Obama Inaugural Celebration” concert at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C. ONE co-founder Bono took a few moments backstage to record this message to ONE members. Check it out!


What is more disappointing then the fact that Grisom is no longer on CSI?
Missing the final episode of X-Files Season 2 from your box set!
I got the first 3 seasons of the X-Files for Christmas and I love them. I have been watching a couple episodes a day for the past few weeks and I have loved every minute of it. When I came to the end of season 2 I thought it a little odd that the season just kind of ended and there was no season finale or cliff hanger like I remember X-Files having, but I didn't really think much of it until I put in the first disk of season 3 and the episode made no sense. Suddenly, Mulder's dad is dead and Mulder is missing and presumed dead, Skully is being chased and threatened and her sister Melissa is shot in her place and dies, and you see the "committee" for the first time and Skinner is using blackmail and manipulation to get the smoking man to help him.... Yeah, I think I missed something.
Turns out that certain printings of the Season 2 Box Set are missing the final episode. It's listed on the case, but is not on the disk.
How frustrating is that. But more frustrating is that I looked and looked for a way to contact Fox Entertainment this morning and came up with nothing. I finally started reading others reviews of the box set on Amazon and discovered that my situation is not unique and there are many other people who are missing out on "Anasazi" as well. It was there on the review forums of that I found an email address for Fox to see if I can get this remedied. Turns out that others who have emailed have had their disk replaced so I figured I'd give it a try too. I guess it's time for me to start stalking my mail box to see if this ever really shows up. I hope it does.
Here is the email that I sent to -

Dear Fox,

I received the Second Season of X-Files (Slim Set) recently for my birthday and was disappointed to see that it is missing episode #25 titled Anasazi. It is listed on the back of the case, but is no where on the disk. I have always been a huge X-Files fan and am very sad that the Complete Second Season is not complete at all.  Is there anyway that I can have disk 6 replaced so that I can have the "Complete" season as it was advertised?I would appreciate any help you can provide with this problem. Please send the missing episode to my Attention ...

Friday, January 16, 2009

Jeremiah 29: 11-13

11- For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
12- Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will harken unto you.
13- And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.

Desert Island DVD's

My Brother-in-law Scott tagged me to make my list of 10 DVD's I would take to that desert island I was stuck on a while back with only music to listen to. But now there is a TV and I'm sure hopping it's a 62" flat screen because some of my movies are even better the bigger they are :)

What are the rules? Well here you go:
* Only one movie from a series
* Only one movie from a given director
* Limit the list to 10

I tag the following people to post their top 10 -



Hello Dolly
this became one of my favorite musicals years ago when I went to the Roy High School production because a friend was in it. Since then I have loved it. I love the music. I love the costumes. I love the plot. I love Dolly. This is a movie I have seen countless times and love it every time. John laughs at me because when it comes on TV at 11 o'clock at night I'll stay up until it's over just so I can watch it.

"It takes a woman to quietly plan to take him and change him to her kind of man and to gently lead him where fortune can find him and not let him know that the power behind him was that dainty woman, that fragile woman, that sweetheart, that mistress, that wife."

Moulin Rouge
the first movie I saw upon my return from my mission. I remember seeing posters for this movie in the Metro Stations in DC while I was there and I would stare at them long to be able to see it. My cute little sister Lariann had me watch it with her when I got home and I LOVED it. Well who wouldn't love a musical with Ewan McGregor in?!

"I owe you nothing. And you are nothing to me. Thank you for curing me of my ridiculous obsession with love."

Tristan & Isolde
Sappy love story based on a Legend. Tristan and Isolde are star-crossed lovers who are forced apart and then brought back together when he wins her for his King's new bride. They then have to decide to stifle their love or stoop to betrayal to be together. I could watch this movie over and over and still be in love with Tristan and his woeful life.

"I live in torture, thinking of these moments. With every look he gives you, I get sicker and sicker. There is a burning in me I feel on fire, and there's guilt I can't comidify. Does it make you happy to know that?"

The Princess Bride
A classic. I don't know many people who have not seen this movie... not only that I think just about everyone could quote it word for word. I know I periodically fill-in my inner monolog often with "Does anybody want a peanut?" It is action, love, people marrying the wrong person and battles to the pain.

"Your ears you keep and I'll tell you why. So that every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your perfect ears. That is what to the pain means. It means I leave you in anguish, wallowing in freakish misery forever."

Disney's Robin Hood
I have watched this move a million times since I was a kid. Robin Hood is such a fox. I have often wished that he was real so I could marry him, but alas, he is a cartoon character AND an animal. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to watch him on my tv.

"Seize the fat one!"

Live Free or Die Hard
I really didn't think I'd like this movie, but I watched it, and I really liked it. I would recommend this for one of those days when all you want is some good old violence and lots of explosions.

Matt: "You just killed a helicopter with a car!"
John: "I was out of bullets."

Sleepy Hollow
This came out shortly before I left on my mission and I was trying so hard to be good and not watch anymore R rated movies... but this one got me. I guess I'm just weak and like the violence. I love this movie. It's another Johnny Depp/Tim Burton masterpiece.

"I beg pardon. But why am I the only one who can see that to solve crimes, we must use our brains, assisted by reason, using up-to-date scientific techniques?"

Return of The Jedi
This is the movie that first inspired me to be an evil villain. The Emperor is so... AWESOME. I have a great respect for the dark side, and though the end of the movie is the demise of the Emperor he has inspired me to be just like him when I grow up.

"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends, up there on the sanctuary moon, are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was *I* who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them. Oh, I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive."

The Chronicles of Riddick
Steaming hot Vin Disel... So that really isn't the reason I like the movie, but my husband likes to say it is. I loved this movie for the adventure of it. Defying authority, Killing stupid people, And in the end making everything yours.

"You keep what you kill"

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
I love this movie. I had never read the Narnia books before, but I had seen the PBS versions of them off and on as a child. When this came out a few years ago I thought it would be good, but it was Magnificent! I love every moment of it and I especially love Aslan.

"If the Witch knew the true meaning of sacrifice, she might have interpreted the deep magic differently. That when a willing victim who has committed no treachery, is killed in a traitor's stead, the stone table will crack, and even death itself would turn backwards."

Runners up:

Ever After
Star Wars: Episode 1 The Phantom Menace
Sweeny Todd
Sleeping Beauty

** this of course was started by Scott's friends Dave&Kristen whos blog is also very amusing :)

10 DVD's you'd take to a desert island

10 DVD's you'd take to a desert island:

Star Trek: First Contact
Return of the Jedi
Superman the Movie
The Rocketeer
Lord of the Rings: Return of the King
Mountain of the Lord
Iron Man
Star Trek 6: The Undiscovered Country
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
The Princess Bride

This List is subject to change. I mean What about T.V. season box sets? If you get a box set with 4 disks are you cheating? Do you have to pick one disk out of the entire season?

Here's to another negative

Ugh! My temperature dropped today. I hope that means my period will start within the next few days because I don't want it to be like last month where it kind of dropped and then just hung on for another 20 days past the time my period should have started.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

just for fun

I thought this was soooo funny

This is a fun pity party

I am sitting here at work trying to avoid actually working because I'm feeling so terribly depressed to day. I cried most of the way to work this morning and now I'm sitting here trying to hide my tears from co-workers. Thank heavens for high walled cubicles. 

I don't know if I've ever mentioned, but John and I have been ttc #1 since August of 2006, I sure thought I was pregnant just about the time my cute little sister was in the hospital with a brain tumor, but it turns out my body just forgot to ovulate for 3 months and didn't tell me. Since then there has been no luck and many missed periods because my body doesn't like to cooperate. We have been REALLY trying since January 2008 sharing our "special hug" at least every other day and generally just getting sick of each other.

I didn't start charting until I started taking Clomid in August. So I have taken Clomid for my August, September, October and December cycles but NOTHING has come of it yet. no Positive tests of any kind. And Just for fun my October cycle lasted for 53 days! Did I not Ovulate? Was I pregnant? Am I really just broken? How frustrating is that!? So to finish off that cycle my CNM gave me a progesterone supplement that has jacked up my temperatures for the last month and I think I have been spotting nearly once a week since my period ended for this entire cycle. Is that normal? I don't know.

During this time of trying to conceive, most of my friends and most of my sisters-in-law have had babies - true, my one sister-in-law was ttc for about 4 years so that makes me feel a little better - but I have been so angry at them for no reason other then the fact that they have babies and I don't. I just turned 30 on the 13th and most of my friends are finishing their families and I haven't even started one. ARRRGH!

I am so sick of other people's children. I want my own. Even my gay friend gets a baby and I don't! It is so frustrating. But we all know this and that's why we're here.

It's really sad, but knowing that I'm not alone is a little comfort to me when I have these bad days. I sometimes wish that I had more people to talk to about this, but then it's like I'm just talking about myself and being selfish and woe-is-me and pity me. So I don't talk to anyone about my feelings and just wish so hard every month for that positive test but it never comes.

Hugs to everyone. I know I could sure use one right now.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009


This is how I feel at times today ....
But my cute husband made me a cake.
(white with pink frosting) And it is very yummy!

Monday, January 12, 2009

How Old Am I?

It is 10957 days, 7 hours, 52 minutes since Saturday, January 13, 1979 at 8:56:00 AM (UTC time)

Friday, January 9, 2009

Why is today so difficult!?

Okay, so today's difficulty isn't really regarding baby, but I'm sure the super hormones I have taken lately sure don't help. I just figured I'd complain about it here instead of on my other blog because my mom tends to call and make sure I haven't blown my top when she reads these rants. I'm fine, really. I'm not feeling too overly depressed today so that's a little bright spot.
First of all, I think I ovulated before I ever started using those stupid OPK's because I have had nearly 2 weeks worth of negatives. And if that's the case then I sure hope that we timed our special hugs right otherwise that last 100mg of Clomid was a waste.
And speaking of 100mg of Clomid. I think it's totally screwed up my cycle. For the first 2 months of 50mg Clomid I was doing good. My cycle was it's regular 31 days and My temperatures all seemed to show ovulation between days 16-18 and I just had some hot flashes and mood swings to deal with. But then I started with 100mg Clomid in November and there is no clear temperature shift on my chart. When I got to day 40 of my cycle with no positive home pregnancy tests I went to the doctor and they did a blood test which was negative so she gave me Progesterone to force my period to start eventually after a 53 day cycle. Then I was given another 100mg Clomid and now I have this stupid OPK issue that is driving me crazy.
I guess if my period doesn't start next week then it's back to the routine of HPT's and waiting. If I have to go back to the doctor this month with no pregnancy I'm supposed to go and see one of the OB/Gyn's and not just the CNM that I have been going to. But my older sister has always told me that when it gets to where I'm actually having a baby I'd want a real doctor anyway. I hate having to go to new OB's it's always a little awkward, but I guess it's not so bad for them because that's what they do all day.
Which leads to the side question of how do you decide that that is the Specialty you want to go into? OB/GYN's, Proctologists, urologists?? I just have never really figured that out.
Anyway the one good thing about the 100mg Clomid is that I haven't had as many hot flashes or mood swings. they're still there of course, just not as bad as they were.
That's about all I have for this blog today. So here's to waiting for Aunt Flo to arrive. Bleh.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The sunset

The sunset

to stop anyone else from panicking...

I have been told that sister and her family are fine and they evacuated to the in-laws house yesterday afternoon with girlfriend in tow.
This is a picture of the Carbon River which runs not to far from my sister's house.
I got the picture from and a story about Orting flooding

Just in case you haven't gotten the news

Thousands told to flee Washington state floods

Orting under water?
Fire trucks rolled through Orting, about 10 miles southeast of Tacoma, with loudspeakers advising everyone to leave the town and surrounding valley, home to about 26,000 people. Sandbags were placed around many downtown homes and businesses as the Puyallup River neared record levels. It was forecast to crest Thursday.

"They expect the town of Orting to go under water," Pierce County sheriff's Detective Ed Troyer said, adding that the flooding could be the worst in more than a decade.

Barbara Nelson, a spokeswoman for Pierce County Emergency Management, said Wednesday night she was not aware of any major damage in the Orting area, but added the extent of damage likely would not be evident until daylight.

"At this point, the main water in the city itself is a result of the rain and not the river overtopping any levees," she said.

Some residents also left their homes in the nearby towns of Puyallup and Sumner. Fife Mayor Barry Johnson suggested roughly 6,000 people voluntarily leave their homes and offices in that city near Tacoma and Interstate 5.

Tacoma Mayor Bill Baarsma declared a civil emergency because of flood risks at Puyallup River.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

In other news

My birthday is in 6 days. Yay!
I'm not doing anything for my birthday this year. I have decided to skip this one.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Lucy @ 1 o'clock in the morning.