I went to lunch with a few friends a few weeks ago. I love being able to spend girl time with people I really love, but inevitably the one person I DON'T want to discuss infertility with asks over the table "So are you still not ovulating?"
This person is my husbands cousin. We have worked together, and I have learned to love her over the years. We even had a short bonding moment over her brief infertility. But there came a point where her whining just got on my nerves and I stopped listening. She has one child already. He is 3 or 4, I can't remember. She started trying for her second ... maybe a year ago. And All I heard from her was whine whine whine I can't get pregnant, I want another baby so badly, I'm so frustrated. Blah blah blah. It took 1 appointment with an Reproductive Endocrinologist and a prescription for Metformin and BAM! suddenly she is pregnant.
Wow, I wish I had it that easy. I've been on Metformin for almost 4 years now. I've done the blood tests and the fertility drugs. I've timed my intercourse so I have swimmers waiting for Ovulation day. I take my temperature every morning and log my symptoms. I analyze every cramp or backache and how often I pee. I keep a record of when I have gas and how often I am irritable. I've dealt with medication induced PMS Rage and the crying and constant fatigue. . . What haven't I tried yet?
Sometimes I think people who already have one or more children have no place whining about infertility to someone who has never even seen what a positive pregnancy test looks like. They shouldn't talk about the stress that is cause by several months of not getting what they want. Try several years. There are some topics and some people that I just clam-up around and infertility is one of them and this cousin is another. My other lunch companions I would have talked to (as much as I do publicly speak about infertility, which is rare) but I just let the conversation pass over because I didn't want to answer her question. Thankfully, my other companion diverted the subject, whether she realized it or not, and I really appreciated it. Really. Thanks.
It just seems to me that as much as we need to talk about it sometimes ultimately if you are having trouble trying to conceive it may be best that it is a taboo subject.... sometimes its just not a topic someone wants brought up over a Grilled Chili-Lime Chicken Salad.