Friday, May 9, 2008

missing out

I was out to dinner with my cute husband last night. We went to Applebee's which is my favorite restaurant. I had the Oriental Chicken Wrap and he had the Grilled Cheese BLT. Both meals very good.
 
But the point of this post is that we were seated at a booth next to a group of women friends or sisters ... I couldn't tell. There were 5 of them and a few children. And I have to admit... I was jealous. I have realized that in the past few years my "girlfriends" have dwindled down to almost nothing. I see Holly maybe once a month (that's up from the once a year schedule we were on), my bestest friend (Carrie) lives in Arkansas, my Barbie girl (Suzy) moved to Virginia with her picture perfect family, another one (Michelle) moved to Idaho and died recently, and my soul mate (Susan) doesn't love me any more and doesn't speak to me. . . All other girls I have been friends with, or had as mission companions, or grew up with just aren't around anymore. As for my sister's ...  one lives in Washington and the other is 20 miles away and we never really hang out.
 
This makes me sad.
 
Those ladies were having such a good time together and it reminded me of the days when I had someone to hang out with and go to dinner with and share stupid stories with and talk about husbands with and just have "girl time" with. I miss girly bonding time and my older sister's couch I could just lay on and not have to worry about the world. I miss Susan playing with my hair, holding my hand and the 3 am chats in my dark bedroom. I miss Suzy smelling like vanilla and just being so darn snuggly. I miss Michelle's quirky uniqueness that made us perfect for each other. I miss Carrie and her silly drawings and her beautiful face. I miss Keira's silly giggles. I miss Kori's overbearingness that would make me laugh. I miss Ashley's ongoing obsession with the male gender. I miss Jessica and the thousands of hours we spent together at Lagoon or talking when we should have been sleeping. I miss Tom (yes, he fits on my girlfriend list) and the countless chick-flicks we'd watch together on the orange couch in my bedroom. I miss Andrea mothering me and just being there for me. I miss Lariann idolizing me and loving me and wanting to spend time with me.
 
I'm lonely for female companionship.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh, sure... all the fat prego chick needs is one more thing to cry about. Way to go Littlest sis!

Anonymous said...

WOW, hit me when I am down and sad, because Mikes Grandma died, what am I chopped liver. Not even an honorable mention? Thanks Liz

Unknown said...

Loran! I'm sorry - I do hope that you'll forgive me. I think what I was pining for was friends I don't see any more and who I haven't seen in a long time. I do love you and I think we should have more girl time together.