Memoirs of a Generally Bitter Young Woman
"The highs and lows of life"
Nonsensical stories interlaced with tidbits of truth,
irony and poetry.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Tomorrow's just your future yesterday
SIDE NOTE: Many of my readers may not know that Ariane and I were acquainted long before she married Scott. Ariane, aka "Sister Stevens", was one of the sisters serving in the Washington DC South Mission back in the days that I was also there. I had the opportunity to spend two of my precious days as a missionary serving with Ariane, once when our companions had something they had to do together, and again when she and I drove to Cumberland, MD for a baptism of someone we both taught. I fell madly in love with her all the way back then and had always wished that I could have had her as a companion. I never did get to serve with her, but we did spend time in the same Zones periodically throughout our time in the field. So back last .... um .... October, I think, when Scott told me and John that he was dating Ariane Stevens I couldn't have been more overjoyed. I remember going home with John that night and saying to him "I wish Scott would marry Ariane, that would be so cool." And well... he did, and it is. She's a great person and oh so loveable. Her personality just makes you want to be her friend. I think my glowing opinion of Ariane when my Mother-in-Law asked me about her helped, at least a little, to prepare the family for Ariane joining us. Because sure, she's not really "one of us" but really, she is. As the new mother of my niece, she's as much a part of the family as any of the rest of us. (And as a side note to my side note: she is a great mommy to my little Lucy. Scott chose good.)
TANGENT: I must admit though that the idea of going out with Ariane frightened me a little. I am not the person that I used to be. That bright girl with the testimony that she knew ten years ago isn't really me anymore. I'm kind of a recluse who spends too much time wallowing in depression and being bitter and self absorbed, but my time with her was like a step out of my life back into what I know I should be. It was a nice breath of fresh air. I didn't want her to see that person I have become and wonder what happened to the other one. I was afraid I'd have nothing to talk to her about and that the evening would be full of awkward pauses and those meaningless conversations that people have because there is noting better to talk about.. but it wasn't like that at all. It was like being back with one of those friends that even though you haven't seen them for years you can just pick up where you left off and just keep going. It was nice to talk to her about Lari, because as a family we have really tried to avoid the topic so as not to offend in Ariane in anyway... but she asked me to tell her about Lariann, and that was refreshing. (Now, In-Laws, this isn't an invitation to swamp poor Ariane with Lariann stories, this is just saying that Ariane would like to know more about Lari because she is a part of her life now. Let Ariane dictate what and when the Lari stories are shared.)
I'm a little bit Country
The Old Chisholm Trail
Whoopi Ti Yi Yo
Cool Water
Pinin' for the Pines
Timber Trail
Fiddlin' Man
The Cowboy Song
A Fathers' Love
Lulabelle
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Today is Wednesday
Today is the 314th day of the year. That makes today Pi Day. Go have yourself a piece of pie today to make yourself happy.
I finished reading the Towers of Midnight yesterday. All 861 pages of it. It took me an entire week to finish, but that was mostly due to being sick and tired and having other things that needed to be done. I probably could have finished it in like two days with no distractions. It was pretty good. Not as good as I wanted it to be after waiting nearly 16 years to read it, but it'll do.
I think the towers of midnight drained the life out of me. The book has some sort of vampiric effect that makes one have to read it even though your life is being sucked out moment by moment... Suck. Suck. Suck. Suck… Life... Draining... Can't.... Think... Need... More... Balefire...
No, but seriously, you should still read it.
Aaah! That's part of the books effect. It sucks the life out of one person and then makes you give it to someone else to read.
Nevertheless, the book was pretty good. I have some complaints about it, but I’ll keep those to myself until John finishes. I am not going to say anything about the plot, or what did or did not happen in the book because so many people I know are either currently reading it, or waiting to borrow a copy. But I do suggest reading it. There were some parts that made me smile and one or two passages that made me tear up a little, or at least made me think that I probably should be crying over this or that.
Now it's on to reading The Historian. (which looks equally as thick as the last one but it only has 720 pages.) I don't know if I'll actually finish it (or start it) before the end of the year, but I'm going to try.
Life is pretty good for the most part. We don’t have anything terrible going on currently. no one has died, no one has smashed our car, no one has been fired, and no one has been arrested so for the most part life is good.
I’m just getting over a bit of a sickness that I had over the weekend. I came home from work last Friday and lay down on my bed around 4:30 and didn’t wake up until 10 am the next day. You’d think that that much sleep would make a person feel better, but around 12 on Saturday I decided that I was still tired so I took another 3 hour nap. Yep, I was feeling pretty much like a useless lump and I felt so ill. The weekend just wasn’t working out for me.
We did go to church on Sunday though. I think this is the first time again since September. I think we skipped the two weeks of regular services during October. Church was SO loud. I hate the noise it really grates on my nerves so I sat through Fast and Testimony meeting wanting to either leave or put my hands over my ears. But I didn’t do either. I listened like the adult that I am with my hands in my lap.
I was really doing pretty good until the Bishop got up near the end of the meeting and said something about the noise to the effect of "God must really trust us to give us all these kids..." and that just sent me into a rut thinking well apparently God just doesn't trust me and that makes me a horrible person and I don't deserve any kids because I’m selfish and rude and even I wouldn't trust me with kids... blah blah blah... I made it through the rest of the block and made it home before I started to bawl. And thus swirled me into the depths of depression mixed with sickness and those two are never a good combination. I thought I felt awful before church, but my evening ended up with a migraine – you know, the good ones with nausea, rainbows (not the good kind) and ice packs.
It sucks how you finally think you have this no baby thing under control and you’re totally okay with it and life is okay… and then someone says just the stupidest thing and it just drops you down to where you were before, or worse. (I know he didn’t say it to offend anyone, he was simply stating something that he thought, but to me it just hurt that empty place in my heart.) I'm just frustrated, I guess.
I stayed home sick from work on Monday because I felt like crud and I really should have stayed in bed, but with the rage and frustration in me I got up and cleaned my house and put my Halloween decorations away. That was a bad idea because it didn't make me feel any better on either aspect, it just made me more sick.
And speaking of Halloween decorations… or just decorations in general – This has been added to my per peeve list recently – I just don’t understand the need some people have to decorate for EVERYTHING. Sure, John and I joke some times about putting hats on the Skull in the living room to mark passing holidays or seasons (Pilgrim hat, bunny ears, new years crown… you know, like those absurd geese that people like to dress up on their lawns.) but really when it comes down to it we decorate for two holidays, and two holidays only: Halloween and Christmas (and Christmas mostly because John says so not because I want to.) Who wants to store all that crap? Who has the time to decorate and redecorate their house on a monthly basis? What’s the point of it all? Does anyone ever really come over to your house to see it? Really? I guess I’m just not one of those kid of peoples. Now if you are one of these kids of people, I’m not trying to be offensive, (I’m just feeling snarky today,) I’m just stating my own personal views. To summarize: Two thumbs down to decorating.
What else is there that might be on a happier note. Ummm…
I get to go see the Color Purple next week with my adorable friend and new sister-in-law-in-law. I don’t know how I’ll like it, but I’m going. Ariane proclaims that it is one of her favorite stories so since she likes it I’m going to trust her opinion. Maybe I’ll like it more because she will.
Harry Potter comes out on 11/19. John and I have our tickets to go see it on the following Monday. We’re going to watch it in IMAX.
Tangled comes out on 11/24 – but we’ll be in St. George for the holiday so we’ll see it when we come back.
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader comes out 12/10 and TRON comes out 12/14 we don’t have tickets for these yet.
There are:
14 days until Thanksgiving
44 days until Christmas
63 days until my Birthday
Well, that’s it. I have nothing else to say for today.
End of Line.
Monday, November 8, 2010
I found them. I found them. I found them!
My shoes in their first and last trip to Washington in July 2009 |
Not to long ago at dinner I said to John "I need new shoes." and he didn't argue, stating that shoes are a necessity of life and if I need new shoes just buy some... He didn't know what kind of can of worms that opened. I decided that if I buy another pair of shoes I'm buying some GOOD shoes. While perusing the Dr. Martin website I found the shoes above. And I knew they were for me. So red, so shiny it was like being in the Mertz apartment all over again, falling in love.
Friday, November 5, 2010
Happy Holidays!
Traditional British
Remember, remember, the 5th of November
The Gunpowder Treason and plot ;
I know of no reason why Gunpowder Treason
Should ever be forgot.
Guy Fawkes, Guy Fawkes,
'Twas his intent.
To blow up the King and the Parliament.
Three score barrels of powder below.
Poor old England to overthrow.
By God's providence he was catch'd,
With a dark lantern and burning match
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, let the bells ring
Holloa boys, Holloa boys, God save the King!
Hip hip Hoorah !
Hip hip Hoorah !
A penny loaf to feed ol'Pope,
A farthing cheese to choke him.
A pint of beer to rinse it down,
A faggot of sticks to burn him.
Burn him in a tub of tar,'
Burn him like a blazing star.
Burn his body from his head,
Then we'll say: ol'Pope is dead.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE
Creason stands over you watching you pack, but suddenly he turns and crouches next to you. “Come Bearer, the sisters are coming.”
His urgent tone hurries you along and soon you have your cloak back around your shoulders. It’s easier to wear it than to carry it you determined. The two of you hurry out of the cave and back on to the path you had been following before.
“Do you know the way out?” You ask.
“I have a general idea,” Creason replies, but he looks in several directions before pointing a finger. “This way, I believe.”
“You believe?”
“You’re the one with the guide Bearer. Perhaps you should ask him.” He said, pointing to the raven that was swooping circles in the air before you.
“Harry,” you call, sticking out your arm, and your raven flies to you, perching on your wrist. He stares at you, his head tilted to the side. Taking a deep breath you throw out a hope that this bird can under stand you. “Get us out of here.”
“Caaw!” he screeches at you before launching off your arm and taking flight. You watch as he flies away, banking to the left and disappearing around a corner. It only takes a moment for you to realize that you should probably be following him.
The air is so heavy with heat you find it hard to breathe; your foot falls becoming heavier as you go. The silence is oppressing, broken only by the periodic call of Harry if you fall too far behind.
“The mouth isn’t very far from Here.” Creason assures you, punctuated by a caw from your raven as though he were agreeing.
After walking for what seemed like hours through the heat the entrance to the caverns appears before you as a gaping black hole in the red rocks. You are so glad to see it you start to run to the exit, each step bringing you closer to real air.
Thump thump thump thump, your footfalls echo behind you as you finally break free of the oppressiveness of the heat that you close your eyes as you step into the open breathing deeply of the fresh cool air. You’re about to take another step when Creason grabs the back of your shirt and pulls you back.
“You may be the Bearer, but you are not wise.” He growls.
You open you eyes and glare at him before you notice that he is looking at the ground before you, or the lack there of. In front of you there is a small ledge about the width of your shoulders and then a sheer drop off that is lined with dense pines thousands of feet below.
“We can go down that way if you wish.” Creason says, pointing at a series of narrow switchbacks that cut straight down the side of the cliff, “Or, we can use the river trail.” Pointing in another direction you see that the narrow ledge you’re standing on wraps around the side of the cliff face and out of sight.
You watch as Harry files in circles high in the air, not giving you any further direction.
WHAT DO YOU DO?
Take the Switchbacks down
Follow the Narrow Ledge
I've given this some extra time. You have until Midnight 11/12/2010 to vote for the next step.