Friday, June 12, 2009

What should I blog about ...

Should I back-track and talk about the fantastic weekend I spent in Washington State with my sister, my Megan and some new friends??
Or should I tell you about how awesome I think my Wii Fit is even though I haven't touched it in over a month??
Should I say how I had FINALLY felt well and normal and was planning on attending church on Mother's day, and how I had psyched myself up for the prospect and convinced myself that I was okay not being a mom and I wasn't going to cry and flee from mother's in the halls??
Should I talk about my heart was broken by a Blonde who had to go away even though we thought we needed her to stay??
Or an even smaller blonde that isn't going to remember her mom??
Or of the dreams I have where Lari just wont hold still in her coffin and keeps messing up her hair before the viewing??
Should I talk about the slow ebbing away of my sadness only to be replaced by a depression that has soaked into every fiber of my being so that I have no desire to do anything... but that voice inside me that tells me that I have a long way to go so I can't give up yet??
Or the dreams where people I love are dead and I wake up in tears?? Or that I wake my husband up in the middle of the night and make him reassure me that Jessica hasn't died??
 
hmmm.... no. I just need to go forward. I think I'll just let the month of May pass into the histories or memory that fade with time and are replaced but brighter memories.
 
Lets see ...
 
Last weekend we went fishing. John caught a fish.
 
 
 

5 comments:

Bebo's Girl said...

I'm still here. :) And I think about you everyday.

Jennifer said...

I love you Liz!! You are amazing! I think your the best liz EVER!

Nametag Museum said...

I am sorry to read of your sister's passing. I remember coming over to your house and playing GI Joes in the basement with Jared and J.R. and watching Battle of the Planets, or G-Force as we also called it.

Benson Myers

Lindsay said...

Hang in there, Liz.

Ker said...

We love you Liz. Hang in there, the pain will pass and you'll be happy again. Please know we are here for you and you can call me anytime.