I have been MIA for the past few weeks. It seems that losing Lariann has hurt more then I ever imagined it would. I have just been so super depressed and that has equaled out to no real internet time because my nose is buried in a book. I have discovered that as long as I'm reading a book I'm not thinking about my little sister, her husband, or her little girl. My husband and I have been put into the baby-sitting rotation schedule for little Lucy so we have her every Wednesday night for a few hours while her daddy is at the fire station for training. Which on one hand is Awesome! because I love my Lucy. But on the other hand it's super sad because she acts so much like her mommy and we're usually at their house. It's hard being at Lariann's house knowing that Lariann will never be there again. Sigh.
I have horrible dreams lately about people I love dying and I seriously had to wake my husband up in the middle of the night a few days ago to make him tell me that Jessica hadn't died. It makes me fell a little crazy. But at least I can sleep. John on the other hand doesn't sleep much at all, after all, Lari was his baby sister. This whole grieving thing is tough. I hate it.
And to top it all off I'm barely getting over the cold I caught a few weeks ago. Sure the worst of it passed in a few days, but that darn cough just doesn't want to go away. Then with all the rain we've been having in Utah for the past few weeks my allergies are killing me! Ugh! I'm stuffed up, congested and feeling all around gross.
I'm finally finished with this cycle. I have been super crampy all week so I'm glad that's gone now. But now its back on the ttc wagon because we are past our "no zone" months. Meaning that we don't want to have a baby between November-February if we can avoid it. Though we haven't been protecting against it we defiantly haven't been actively trying... the few month break has been nice, and I have to admit that with all that has been going on we haven't really been in the mood for baby making. So here we go again. I have decided that If we're still in the same spot by August (marking our 3 years ttc) I'll be finding a Reproductive Endocrinologist.
There was a recent discussion on FertilityFriend.com about baby names. "What is your opinion on naming twins? Do you prefer similar names or not? I keep thinking about that. If you were to have twins or quads what would you name them????" So here was my response. . .
If you have twins their names should be COMPLETELY different. As should all names of children. Rhyming drives my crazy. Same letters drive me crazy. Same endings drive me crazy. I think that each child should be an individual and not just a name on a list that sounds cute together. bleh!
As for our baby names ... hmmm. The only one that DH and I have agreed on (that hasn't been taken) is Wyatt Justice. Named after Wyatt Earp of course. One of my favorite "old westers". All of our agreed upon girl names have been stolen by my SIL's, i.e. Allison, Lucy, and Grace.
In my personal opinion my children will all have normal names that will not require them to either -- 1) Spell their name to people for the rest of their lives or 2) have to tell people how to pronounce it for the rest of their lives. That just drives me crazy.
And there is also the rule that since DH is Dyslexic the names can't be anything that he can't spell on the first try.
I have been positively forbidden to use the name Margarett(a). Even though that is my Grandmother's name and also Floyd even though that was the name of BOTH of our Grandfathers.
I love old fashioned names. I am so glad that old fashioned names have come back into style the past few years. I will have a daughter named Elizabeth but if it's a fist name or a middle name we haven't decided yet since it is my name too.
There are a few names that we have agreed upon with in the past little while, but they haven't really clicked with us yet. There is Michelle (named after a dear friend who passed away last year) or Lari Ann (named after sister who just passed). But then there are our crazy names like Souske or Kenshin (named after Anime characters) but those both go back to the crazy spelling (their both Japanese) and the DH can't spell so they may just be nick names.
Recently we have has some neighbors name their kids some funny names.. lets see ... they are :: McKoy, Paisley, Link, Jacoby and my personal favorite from a few years ago ... Champ.
But remember this is only MY opinion so I'm not being mean or trying to hurt feelings so don't be offended. :)
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