Tuesday, October 16, 2007

okay, you can't just leave it at that....

At the behest of a friend further details are in order...

I have to set this story up by first saying that it was a mission experience, and not a very good one.
I was on the 6 month stretch of going home and I was serving in Falls Church Virginia I had a companion named Sister Wilson, who I didn’t like very much at all. She was a lazy sister who didn’t do much work and mostly sat around the apartment whining about an Elder who she “loved” (the funniest part was when he, after being home for a few weeks, wrote her and told her he was marrying someone else and she only had a few more weeks to go before she also went home... Oh No!) I was Sister Wilson’s last companion, she had 6 weeks left when I joined her in Falls Church. And then there were our roommates who were: Sister Norman who I also didn’t like much and she was also very lazy and she would sit on the living room floor and eat out of a GIANT tub of cheese puffs every time I would see her. (Sister Norman and Sister Wilson were friends.) Then there was Sister Norman’s companion Sister Stringham. Sister Stringham was sweet. She was a “greenie” meaning she was in her first area and had only been out for a few weeks. She had an annoying habit of constantly picking at split ends which in it’s own way would drive me crazy. She and I ended up working together A LOT because the other two sister’s needed to be together.
But that has nothing to do with fat people or my story so we’ll move on.
One of the only days of the week I could get Sister Wilson to do anything was on Thursdays which was our service day. For service we would go shopping for a woman in the ward named Sister Day. She was house bound and couldn’t do it herself. Why you ask? Because she was HUGE. She lived in a tiny little apartment that smelled of kitty litter and old paper. She had tons of bookshelves lined with romance novels and piles of romance novels on the floor. There were stacks of old news paper and TV Guides. It was a ground floor apartment that was kind of laid out like this – The front door opened into the living room which was a large open shaped like an L. Looking straight ahead from the door you looked into the TV/sitting area of the living room. Looking to the right you looked towards the back of the apartment which had the kitchen, a dining area, 1 bedroom, and a bathroom. Just a note: since she was such a LARGE woman she couldn’t get to the door to let you in so the front door was always unlocked and she’d just holler “come in” or for us we’d just knock and walk in because she was always on the couch and knew we were coming, and the windows were always open.
Each week she’d have her shopping list ready for us and we’d hop in our car and drive to the nearest grocery store which was the Food Lion in Arlington to do her shopping for her. This list included various grocery items but it always included 10 cans of wet cat food (because apparently her cat’s couldn’t eat dry food), 2 lbs of peanuts for her to feed the squirrels that congregated outside her kitchen window, and 4 loafs of bread to feed the birds that fought the squirrels that congregated outside her kitchen window.
We also would take her a copy of the Relief Society message on Sunday nights. Well, one of these Sunday nights we stopped by Sister Day’s apartment to drop off her lesson. We knocked and walked in. “Sister Day!” we called to no response “Sister Day?” then looking to the right there she was in the bathroom sitting upon the toilet. “Sister Day?” we called one more time. But there was no answer. I looked at Sister Wilson and asked do you think she’s okay? And Sister Wilson said “She’s probably asleep.” So we backed out of the apartment and went about our evening vowing we’d go back in the morning and see her.
The next morning the first thing we did was go to Sister Days to pass along the Relief Society lesson and on the way there we joked about ‘what if she’s still in the same place?’ Lots of what-if’s.
Low and behold we got there and I was the first to walk into her apartment. Now picture this as a scene from a horror movie where the camera focus’ on all the little things before it shows you the terror lurking just out of site.
I walked in and did a slow motion scan of the room. I’m sure it was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. The Cats were missing, the cat bowls were empty, there was an abundance of flies and there was silence. I turned and looked to where I had last seen Sister Day and there she was. From the way the toilet was situated, being such a big lady she couldn’t close the door while in the bathroom. So from the front door you could see her legs, large belly and most of her left arm. That’s what I remember from the night before. But this time I noticed that her fingers were a chalky blue and worst of all, SHE WAS IN THE SAME PLACE WE HAD LEFT HER THE NIGHT BEFORE.

Sister Day was dead.

What do you do when you find a dead body? We didn’t know, so we left her apartment and drove to our district leaders house which wasn’t far from where we were. We didn’t know what to do or who to call so eventually Sister Wilson called the Relief Society President, and I went in another room and prayed that Elder Gardener would come home and help us (but he never did). Sister Moran advised us to go back to Sister Day’s apartment and wait for her, she would call 911 and we’d get it taken care of.
We spent most of our day filling out police reports, and by the time we were done We Were Done so we went back to our apartment. That was quite the nightly phone call into the District Leader that night “hi sister’s how was your day?” “well elder gardener, we started our morning finding a dead body and then spent most of the afternoon filling out police reports. We didn’t get any contacts today, sorry.”
Turns out she had probably been dead since Saturday. She had a massive heart attack. Apparently there is a nerve that runs from your heart to your bowels and when this specific type of heart attack is occurring it makes you feel like you have to go to the bathroom and that is the end of it all.

Therefore, I do not like Dead Bodies or Fat People.

The end

4 comments:

Camille said...

I served in your mission...our mission..I knew these sisters & thought they were great. They were my friends. I don't think you were fair in saying what you did, esp b/c you have a link to this site on the mission website and anyone can read it. The comment about not liking fat people was kindof harsh too. It's not my place to say, and I'm just being nosey. Sorry.

z said...

To your "commentor" you need to get a sence of humor. I thought this was a great blog. Im just sorry I didnt have any dead body stories I could tell without going to jail.

Anonymous said...

Wow, those sister missionaries sound LAZY!!! I wonder if scamthomp was one of the lazy ones as well...I don't know what I would do if I found a dead body either. Very interesting story! Not offensive to me...oh wait, most things aren't. LOL Who cares what people say, write what you want, THIS IS YOUR BLOG!!!

Unknown said...

Hey - THIS IS MY BLOG!!
I don't know if scamthomp was a lazy sister she was probably one of those just work till you die sisters that drove me crazy as well. She was spanish speaking "Hermana" and probably never served with with either of the sisters I was talking about. I have no idea who on earth se even is. She just sounds like a self-rightious bitty who needs to learn that other people have opinions and that just because a sister acts one way at a meeting doesn't mean that she's the same person in her own apartment.
And don't even get me started on sister's who marry elders from the mission - that's a whole other rant fest for me. (no one cares about you and "Alfer".