Metamorphosis (2007) - First off, this movie starred a bunch of unknowns who I have never seen in anything else, and Christopher Lambert. Ugh! I know there are people out there who find Christopher Lambert to be a great actor... but I'm not one of them. His horrible accent and ugly looks just makes anything he is in laughable. (I hated the Highlander movie because I just couldn't stand him.) And now, here he is in this third rate piece of crud that we watched.
Looking at the cover (not reading the back) of this movie it's hard to decide if it's a vampire movie, or if it is a werewolf movie. Answer is: A stupid move - but it is about vampires. In fact, it's about (in a round about way) Elizabeth Bathory, a famous Hungarian duchess who would bathe in the blood of virgins because it would keep her young. This story involves her daughter Elizabeth (the vampire) and a guy who's name I can't remember and his dumb friends.
This movie was just campy for a while and John figured it out pretty quick. After the vampire battles and the deaths of all his friends the one guy was turned into a vampire because Elizabeth had fallen in love with him.... and then suddenly it turned into a "god" movie leading the viewer to believe that we all have a preordained destiny and nothing we do can ever change it, even if we can move between dimensions and time. This poor guy was preordained to become a vampire and live out the rest of his immortal existence with young Miss Elizabeth. Wow, really? After the final battle, where it would have been a good place to end the movie it still just kept going and going and going. We thought it would never end. I do not recommend this move to anyone unless you need a good laugh. There is some nudity, some sex, car accidents, human and vampire killing, cheesy vampire teeth and creepy priests.
Neowolf (2010) - Straight to DVD Movie. That should tell you just how good it is right there. This movie is terrible from beginning to end. The acting is bad, the plot is stupid. The makeup and CGI is terrible. The continuity is terrible: it day one moment and night the next along with plush green grass one minute and desert the next. Here's the story. a young "rocker" wannabe is trying to get his girlfriend back, but she doesn't want him, and then she does and then she doesn't and then she does. There is this rock band "Neowolf" who leave a trail of death behind their tour and no one ever gets suspicious except this girlfriend who thinks her loser is acting strange and she suddenly makes this jump to "Oh No! They're Werewolves!" Well, she doesn't do anything about it until her friend is eaten and she gets some crazy pre-werewolf sex from said loser boyfriend (after he's blown her off several times, treated her like crap and had sex with and was bitten by the female member of the band... really? I'd have dropped that guy so fast.) Anyway, with the help of the crazy local Nursery Owner, who is the only person who believes her, she gets some wolfsbane and some silver buck shot and she sets out to take back the boy she loves, or doesn't love, or loves... whatever. Eventually she kills all of them, including her boyfriend, but not before he has time to sing the same song like forty different times during the movie and the crappie other "bands" that they tried to feature in this. Personally, I would have started shooting long before it got to the stupid werewolf parts.
DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE. Pretty much that's the conclusion I came to. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. I just can't stress that enough. Just let this crawl back under a rock and die there. Lots of "adult situations", naked, blood, stupid, stupid and more stupid.
Splice (2009) - This movie wasn't so bad. It wasn't so great either. It took FOREVER to get to the point and there was no really scary moments in it.
The entire story all seems stupid to me. I know I don't know how the rest of the world lives, but some of the situations in this movie were questionable beyond belief. The end was as hokey as the rest of it.
Very predictable.
There is some violence, a little blood, sex, crazy hybrid mayhem.
I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone else simply because it was so ... long... stupid... pointless... lots and lots of reasons. This movie gets my old stand by statement of "MORE KILLING LESS STUPID!" and that's all I have to say about this one.
The Mist (2007) - This is a Stephen King story. Does anything this man creates have a happy ending. No, I doubt it. This movie was good. It made me jump several times throughout the length of the film.
A group of people are trapped in the local grocery store when a strange mist descends upon them from the mountain. There are... things... in the Mist and they have to defend themselves and try to get along. This is your standard "Lord of the Flies" situation. Strand some people together and see what you get. I rooted for the old lady most of the film, I liked her.
The ending is a little predictable once you get into it, but it didn't end exactly how we had thought, but very close. This is one of the better suspense builders I have seen in a while. I did like the movie, it may be a watcher again in a few years.
An American Werewolf in London (1981) - This is a classic movie that was added to our collection this year. We have enjoyed watching this several times in the last few years and finally decided that it was worth having for our own.
Two American boys on a back packing trip through England are attacked by a werewolf. One is killed, the other is left... changed. This is the story of the changed boy. The special effects/make-up in this movie was excellent for it's time, and it's still one of the best werewolf transformation scenes in the movies. There is quite a bit of language, sex and violence in this movie. Less than some, more than others. There is one scene played out in a "Adult" theater but it's not terrible. The scene itself is classic, minus the background soundtrack. If you don't mind the abovementioned faults of the movie we suggest you watch it. It's a great mix of Horror and Comedy that makes you laugh and jump and makes the film most enjoyable.
Garfield's Halloween Adventure (1985) - How can you not love this? I remember watching this on TV countless times as a kid. I'm sure it helped to fuel my love of pirates somewhere along the line.
Garfield learns about Halloween and wrangles Odie into going Trick or Treating with him. They dress as pirates and set out. After gathering candy from all the houses on this side of the river Garfield decides that they need to cross over and get the other side.
they hop in a row boat but lose the oars and a swept across the river to a creepy island where a creepy man tells them a creepy pirate story. Creepy old man steals their boat and Garfield and Odie are trapped with ghoooooost piiiiirates and they have to escape.... Will they make it home? Will the pirates kill them? What happened to their candy? .... If you don't know the answers to these questions you need to watch this. It's short and fun and totally kid friendly.
Will Vinton's: Claymation Halloween Special (1987) - Yes, I know the picture shown here for this is the Claymation Christmas Celebration, but the Halloween Special is on the same disk. This collection has the California Raisins Christmas Special, A Collimation Easter Special, and the Claymation Halloween Special. We only watched the Halloween one on this go around.
I have vague memories of seeing this as a kid, but it must not have been one of the regulars. In the Halloween special a greedy Pig finds out about Dr. Frankenstein's lab and the monster that is hidden there. He has to go though all sorts of hijinks in order to find the lab but he discovers it's not quite what he thought.
Kinda funny. Kinda enjoyable. Very kid friendly. Maybe it was funnier when I was a kid, but it was a good little time filler for our Halloween fun.
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