Lets talk story...

You know how you lay in bed at night and compose novels and blogs and letters and they are so in depth and full of useful information, but then you fall asleep and in the morning you remember that you thought about it all before sleeping, but now that you're awake you can't remember a single thing.... That's how I am today. I laid in bed last night wide awake for quite a while and I thought about what I could blog about today and all the interesting information and events that I have had lately, but now that the morning has come I don't remember much of it. Funny, how I keep a note pad next to my bed for just this stuff, but I never use it. I guess I'll just look back on the past few weeks and see what I can come up with.

Yesterday was the One Year mark of John's Dinosaur Flu, and I'm happy to say that he hasn't had any real problems since last July. He had an appointment with his Neurologist last month and the doctor lowered his dosage of Varapamil from 180mg to 120mg and if he stays crazy free until his next appointment in June then the doctor will take him off the medication. We are both excited by this. John is looking forward to not being tired all the time, which is a side effect of the medication. I'll be happy to leave this chapter of our lives behind and there won't be an ounce of regret to have it gone. But again, the Neurologist changed his mind and reversed most of what he told john the last time he went in.

SIDE NOTE: I have decided that Specialists aren't very special at all and this particular provider doesn't check his patient records before appointments. I understand that doctors can't fix everything, and that most of what they do is just educated guessing, all I ask is that a provider remember his patients - if not by sight, than by at least reviewing their charts before an appointment.

At least on this topic life is looking up. However, thinking he'd be funny yesterday he sent me the following email "Hey I have headache, and they are taking me to the emergency room……. Just kidding. Ha Ha. I love you." I didn't think it was funny in the least bit. I really did start to panic a little before I reached the end of the message.
I wonder, sometimes, how long it will take for the panic to go away so that every time he has a headache or if he gets too tired or if he's silent for too long or if he stumbles over a word I don't feel like I'm on the verge of having to take him to the ER, or if maybe this time he snaps and doesn't quite come back. Some times I think that maybe the worry wouldn't be so bad if his Dino Flu hadn't been compounded in the same week as Lariann's death. I guess I'll never know. I find that every time we broach the topic I have to reach out and touch him, his hand, his arm, his hair, to reassure myself that he is still here, and that we are both okay. I remember the blank look in his eyes and inability to speak. It's frightening. I'm hoping that we are past that now, but you never know what the future brings.
Weird thing though, is that I think the Varapamil has been keeping John from having his night-terrors. Ever since he's gone to the lower dose he talks more in his sleep then I can ever remember. That would be an interesting thing to research. I wonder if it's true, or if maybe he has just been over stressing in the last month or so. I guess we'll never know.

Speaking of One Year anniversaries.... John, Rachel, and myself took flowers to Lariann the other night.

Aaaaand... time for a new topic. I had the weirdest dream last night about roller derby, high school and mice. I don't remember much of it at all, but lets just say it was strange. I do recall that the mouse that was chasing me was missing half it's face, and I was trying to protect a purple egg to deliver it some where, but I ended up on a giant's stove and I worried that we were both going to be eaten. Then I was in school, but I never went to my classes and I couldn't remember where the seminary building was and some how that tied in to roller derby. I really do love roller derby though I'd join a league if I wasn't such an inactive wuss. Weird. I know.

We had planned on taking a mini vacation in May, but in the end it has been decided that we are not going to Illinois for Bryce's graduation. This was a trip that we really had been looking forward to and I sat down so many times to book our flights but something always came up and I'd walk away from the tickets. A few weeks ago it finally came down to - Are we going, or not? - and then the lawn mower died and life got expensive and in the end it was determined that it's just not the right time for us to go. We are really sad that we are missing out on this, but it just didn't work out for us. If you don't know, or haven't heard, Bryce, john's best friend, is graduating from Southern Illinois University with a Masters in Arts. He has been working on his degrees in theater since we all got home from our missions nearly 9 years ago. So...

Way to go Bryce! We are so proud of you, and your accomplishment!!

He has also landed himself a job at the University of St. Louis as the assistant professor (I think) in their theater department. It looks like they'll be setting up house there for a while. We have decided that once the Allen's are settled in their new home in Missouri we'll make our trip to visit them.


Mother's day is on Sunday May 9th.
Did you get your mother a gift?
What are your plans?
I plan on staying in bed with a blanket over my head.


As for the rest of our lives, we're pretty much the same. Nothing really new or exciting is going on. Norm & Becca are still having a baby girl. Z & Not-Your-Sister are also having a baby that we may or may not know the gender of as of yesterday. No names for either of them yet. So they are currently referred to as little Sue and Rotten.
We visited with the Awesome family a little on Tuesday night since Not-Your-Sister wanted to get her Will signed and notarized before someone could murder her. So John and I were witnesses and John's sister, Rachel, came along as our notary. So now it's all official so Not-Your-Sister can rest easy ... at least on that issue, apparently she worries about being murdered. I'm impressed. I think Z's family has more of their affairs together then most people I know. I guess it's good to have a plan.
I suppose that if I were to write a Will currently it would just cover my cats, my bed and my TV since those are the only things I really own. We have no money and no belongings that are worth anything... I know that if John and I were to die someone would probably just come and let my cats out to get run over by cars. Poor Kitties.
Okay, if John and I die unexpectedly before a real will is created; Andrea, Jessica, and Erin can fight over my jewelry except my pearls, they will go specifically to Erin. Jessica also regains possession of all the barbies. Scott can have my TV's and gaming systems. Logan, Bryce and Jacob can split up John's comic book collection and action figures. The oldest Awesome child and Andrew can have my books, they can decide who gets what. Nicole can have my music boxes, I love each of them and hope she likes them as well. Erin gets my cedar chest and all items inside of it. Rachel and Kenji can have my music collection/CD's, even though I've been told my music is "lame". My mother gets the laptop for her genealogy. My dad regains possession of my big box o'love as well as all of his sweaters. Lucy gets the treasure chest and all the jewels and treasures therein. Andrea get my photo albums and my glass cake stand. Mikayla can have my bed, the broyhill head and footboards were something I always wanted and they're special to me. Devin gets the DVD's. Kira can have the basket of key chains, they belong to John, her mom can tell her how special they are. Norm can have the star wars toys, most are still in their boxes so they may or may not be worth anything. Natalie can have all my stuffed animals. Loran gets custody of the cats. All other items that are left can be divided up between the unnamed members of my family I'm sure everyone can find something they like. Tools, lawnmowers, weed whackers and fire pit become property of the estate and may be disposed of as the landlord sees fit. Any money or insurance polices we have will go to our parents for funeral expenses and reimbursement for the years of trouble that we caused... and our car should be driven off a cliff or donated to the Mythbusters. John is to be cremated and turned into diamonds, and I just want a burlap sack. There you go.

Other than that, we haven't had any car accidents, no one has gone to the ER and we don't have any special announcements. As my uncle Blaine put it last week: "That's pretty much it, get up, go to work, come home and go out to watch a movie once in a while."

New topic: The Dark Ages, they were neither dark nor an age. discuss.