Saturday, September 29, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
What is truly funny about all this is that there was a lady at CHG that I worked pretty closely with for the 4 years I was there and about a week before I quit I was saying something to my cubie mate about how I had finally lost enough weight to wear my wedding ring. and Val looked at me and said "you're married?" yes I answered her. "to a man?" she asked. I was a little taken aback. Yes I'm married to a man. She just laughed and said she just figured I was a lesbian because of the shirt I used to wear and she was just letting it pass, she didn't care that I wore it.
All in all it was very funny. I wear the shirt and I get weird looks. John wears it and he gets "Dude, cool shirt!"
Thursday, September 27, 2007
I get to see the moon every morning as I drive to work in the pitch black of 6 am. The moon was huge and hung in the sky like a yellow diamond on black velvet and the man in the moon smiling down on the world like he is the superior to all. It was beautiful and made me wish that I had a telescope and the time to stare. My drive to work takes me west bound on SR201 and the moon was a light at the end of the tunnel that was always just out of reach. I love the moon.
Back in the days at lagoon there was a girl with whom I worked. Her name was Laura, I think she may be the only person I have actually known named Laura. On those nights while we'd be standing at our posts in the still 90 degree weather and the park was getting close to closing time, Laura would look up at the moon and in a little sing song sort of way she's say "I see the moon and the moon sees me, and the moon sees who I want to see." And for some silly reason it stuck with me and forever after that I think I say it to myself every time I see the moon. Once in a while I have conversations with the moon and tell it my thoughts and listen to it's silence and just be happy knowing it's there.
I remember one night as a missionary with my first companion who I didn't like very much. Our area was in the middle of nowhere Maryland (Cumberland to be exact) and often had long drives from place to place and all of those were in silence. I had been sick and was having a particularly bad day when on the way home I looked up in the sky and saw the moon. and said out loud "Hello Moon!" and was immediately laughed at and told how stupid I was for talking to the moon. (but she'd do the same thing if I said hello to any inanimate object.) I don't think that in my whole life, even with my brother's who tormented me for everything had anyone ever made me feel stupid for talking to the moon. I hate Sister Musick.
All in all I guess even though I love the moon it now brings up memories of her, but maybe my other memories of the moon can out weigh the bad.
I realized last year that I never write anything anymore, and it has a lot to do with the fact that I have been totally depressed and I don't feel like I have any inspiration to write and even if I did nothing I’d write would be any good. I periodically read stuff from high school and cry because it was good and I just don't feel like I can do that anymore. but I’m going to try. I've decided that I just need to buckle down and do all the things I think I can't do and all the things I don't want to do that I used to love and see if maybe I can do them and I do still love them. but it's really hard. a lot harder then I think it should be and that frustrates me. so there you go, a rant about Liz’s mental state.
When I started this blog, I just opened a word document on my computer at work and would write on it periodically during the day, and for the past 2 weeks the computer program we use for working has been shutdown for updates so I have had A LOT of spare time. (I can’t work too hard it’ll make everyone else look bad.) So I start writing one thing and another idea will pop up so I open another word document and start on that train of thought. Thus 20 posts so far this month and I’ve only had my blog for what... a week.
Maybe one day when work is back to normal I’ll have less time to ponder and wont post as much, but until then, enjoy.
So after sleeping so much this past weekend I had many strange dreams. I have been very excited that I get to go to Washington for thanksgiving but in my dreams I’ve had to walk there over and over again. And when I get there I’m so tired I just fall on the front lawn this exhaustion leads to me having to army crawl into the house, but no one is home and I can’t stand up to go look for them.
In another dream where I was walking to Andrea’s, I get lost in the giant underground parking lot at Davis High – (it’s the old school of course and not to mention this kind of parking lot doesn’t exist). No matter what ramp I take or what door I use I can’t seem to get out of the parking lot. This time I have my mom and dad and John with me and we are all walking to Washington.
Then I have dreamed that I’m forced to sing a solo at church. At first it starts out in the primary room at the Kaysville tabernacle. And then they decide to make it a little bigger so it moves into the gym and onto the stage. But at this point it’s not just the ward watching it has turned into the entire stake. That freaked me out.
There were several other dreams, but I don’t remember what they were now. Those are the ones that stuck out the most to me.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
The first 50:
I was born January 13th 1979 at 8:56 am, it was a Saturday.
I can’t put my feet on the floor at movie theaters. Not only do my feet often not reach the floor, but I just hate having my feet on the floor. This isn’t just at movie theater’s either, it’s at home, at work, at church. I literally have to force myself to keep my feet on the floor at other people’s houses and in the car.
I started flirting with my husband when he was a sophomore in high school because I hated his girlfriend and just wanted to make her angry.
My main mode of communication with the opposite sex was flirting. When I got engaged my husband asked me to please stop flirting with everyone, so I did. I now feel as though I can’t or don’t know how to talk to anyone.
I have the annoying habit of starting most statements with the sentence “I was gonna say....”
I gave up the one worldly item I loved more then anything to make my husband happy. Jasper.
When I was in kindergarten I threw up on my desk, but didn’t want to get in trouble so I pushed it off the top into the desk.
When I didn’t want to go to school I used to hide from my mother.
I constantly dream about being in school. Mostly it’s about High School, but often times I dream about the old Kaysville Elementary School.
I often dream that I am trapped in the Kaysville Tabernacle and I can only use the back stairs that go from the basement to the cry room and can never get out of the building.
I love the name Margaret.
I love my knees. They’re cute.
I sleep to avoid reality.
I’m obsessed with cute socks. Preferably ones with kitties on them.
I hate church.
My mother drives me crazy because we are exactly the same.
I have my mom’s feet.
Sometimes I can feel myself getting fatter.
I used to be a size 8.
I’m a horrible friend. I forget birthdays and never call and for the most part I go off of the motto “hurt and alienate” because it hurts less when you’re the one to walk out on a relationship.
I didn’t have a bosom friend until I was 18.
My bosom friend accused me of bringing all bad things into her life and that it was my fault she was depressed and living in her parents basement and then she never spoke to me again.
I hate working. I want to be a stay at home mom. I never wanted a career because that didn’t involve my kids.
Old people and handicapped people frighten me.
I love Haunted Houses, Halloween, and Scary Movies.
I have a skull in my living room.
My favorite pair of shoes are a pair of red Doc Martin Mary Jane’s that I got from Sister Mertz in Annandale, VA.
I think my parents should have taken me to the doctor more as a teenager.
I’m a hypochondriac.
I hate fish. alive, dead or eatable.
I hate other people’s children (nieces and nephews excluded)
I rarely like the people I work with.
The best job I ever had was at Lagoon.
I never actually had a boyfriend in High School, Tom and I just made up stories to make others leave us alone.
The first and only time Tom held my hand was at our Senior Prom. He was wearing a top hat.
The first guy I ever kissed was Ben Baldwin. 11th grade.
The first boy I ever kissed was Benjamin Huddleston. 1st grade.
I dream about Ben Baldwin a lot.
Almost every date I took to dances in High School was a guy who my sister thought was cute.
I’ve always looked up to Keith even though I thought it was his life goal to make me leave the room in tears every time he saw me.
If I were stranded on a desert island all I would want would be shade, and a working refrigerator filled with a never ending supply of cheese cake.
My favorite U2 song is “Bullet the Blue Sky”
My favorite song is: “That’s What Friends Are For” by Dionne Warwick and Friends.
My favorite artist is Vincent Van Gogh.
I love to paint, but I’m no good at it. I once won a blue ribbon for a bunch of brush wiping. Mr. Cushing my high school art teacher offered to let the school buy it, but I felt that it would have been a rip off to post such crap in the Davis High Auditorium that I said no and it now hangs on the bedroom wall at my parents house. I paid a lot for the frame, but the painting itself is worthless.
I can’t read music and I’m tone deaf, but I love to sing. The old ladies at church always tell me I have a beautiful voice.
I loved my senior yearbook picture.
I have always wanted to drive a mini van.
I would love to live in Scotland, but it’s too far away from home.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I had a super migraine yesterday. I woke up at 6 am on a Saturday with what felt like an ice pick being hammered into my head. those are no fun. I got out of bed for some meds and thankfully we always keep the migraine medicine in the same spot so I can find it in the dark. Advil Migraine it's my savior on these types of mornings.
The house is totally dark because the sun doesn't come up for another hour and the night light has burnt out. All I can really see are the bright pain flashes behind my right eye. I was trying to get a glass of water to take my 4 pills but my hand couldn't grip the cup and it fell into the sink with old enchilada pans full of water and splattered me all wet and made me cry. I had to drink out of the tap. it's been a long time since I've done that.
Here is the point where I pull an ice pack out of the freezer and put it on my aching head. and crawl back into bed with my honey. He was still sleeping. This is the routine on most migraine days. I finally get to sleep again and slept until noon.
When I got up I had lunch and some more pills and went back to bed. I had so much I should have done yesterday. my house is a mess and my fishes need clean water but some days I just can't function. All in all though I suppose it could be worse.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Friday, September 21, 2007
I didn't go to the Friday night picnic at the park and I hear there were lots of people there. So maybe in 10 more years I'll skip the paid entertainment and just do the free stuff.
The girl who cut my hair yesterday kept messing up one side vs. the other and she just kept cutting shorter and shorter and shorter.
So now I'm a fat girl with a hair cut that instead of complementing my round face, it highlights it and almost screams look at how fat my face is.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Why you may ask? Well....
In my first two weeks I was told that I am competent enough to learn the computer system by my self.
By my third week I was asked to take over the state of Oklahoma Coventry Health Plan because “out of everyone here you’re the most qualified.”
By the end of my first month I received a “Thumbs Up!” from my manager (a piece of paper for my cubie wall) stating that it was for “The great attitude, effort and willingness to make things run smoothly. Thanks for all you do to help. Good work never goes unnoticed.”
Today I had a one-on-on with my manager and my review involved the words “awesome” and “enthusiasm and vigor”
and then to rub it all in:
“With minimal instruction or training she jumped right in”
“She has proven to the rest of the team that metrics are more then attainable.”
“Liz is a great example to her peers and her attitude and ability have been refreshing.”
They love me here.
I was actually accused of “Smiling to much” the other day. WOW. Imagine that Liz smiling to much. When Lisa (my manager) tried telling them that at CompHealth I was usually considered the grumpy one they all laughed and thought that she was kidding.
Boy, do I have these people fooled.
Honestly though, I love my job. It’s been a breeze and I have really enjoyed my time here. Lets just hope it stays this way. :)
Babysitting my brother’s kids
Feature Films For Families
House Keeping at La Quinta Inn
KB Toy Express
JC Penney Catalog
Intercontinental Hotels (Holiday Inn Reservations)
Coventry National Credentialing
I loved Chuck Taylor’s - Converse High Tops. I had many pairs - I even have a green low top pair in the back seat of my car right now :) that mom found in my closet @ her house. I have the Christmas pair that are red and green plaid and they used to have jingle bells hanging from the back. I’ve had black pairs, and Pink pairs, I think I even had a red pair. And I always had a pair of fake black leather combat boots somewhere in my collection. In High School I started a collection of high heal shoes in various colors to match dresses I wore to dances and those shoes are still in the closet at mom’s.
I worked for Journey’s once. It was a shoe store that mostly sold Doc Martins the shoe of my dreams. I had for many years dreamed of owning my very own pair of 32 eyelet black combat boots for me to tromp around in. Journey’s employee discount was 50% off ANY shoe. Wow, that was quite the tempting offer, so I took the job, but quit before I ever got my first pay check. The manager of this store was a sexist pig. I think he only hired me because he had to. I spent every shift at that store sweeping the back room or organizing the back room or stocking the back room. So I quit. I had better things to do with my time then be there. So alas I never got my boots.
Very soon after that I got a job at ZCMI and they also sold Doc Martins in their shoe department. So guess what I spent my very first check on?? No not 32 Eyelets, but a shorter more reasonable pair of 12 eyelet combat boots. They cost me $150 but they are worth it. I love these shoes, they are so comfortable and they always gave me that extra inch and a half to my height that a 5’2” girl could use. I remember that I had a yo-yo I could only play with while wearing these shoes because the string was just that much too long, but that wasn’t a problem, because I was ALWAYS wearing these shoes.
The yellow string trimming and the hard rubber souls were awesome and I couldn’t think of stomping out camp fires or hiking in any other shoe. They were the perfect accent to everything I wore. I even wore them to church more often then not.
I took those shoes on my mission with me and wore them every p-day and when it snowed. And now they sit next to my bed for those days that I need to go back to my happy days with my shoes. I love them.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Been to Chicago
Been to Carthage Jail
Been to Nauvoo
Been to Elko
Been to Hoover Damn
Been to Oceanside
Been to Anaheim
Been to Disneyland
Been to San Diego
Been to the San Diego Zoo
Been to Sea World
Been to Los Angeles
Been to Universal Studios
Driven past Las Vegas
Driven past Death Valley
Slept in the parking lot of a truck stop
Been hit on by Mexicans
Moved 3 times in 3 years
Lived in Bountiful
Lived in Kaysville
Lived in Layton
Had 3 cars in 3 years
Been in 3 Car Accidents
I’m currently driving car # 4
1 Red and Blue Chevy Nova 1986
1 Light Blue Ford Focus 2001
1 Gold Mazda Protégé 2003
1 “superman” Blue Ford Focus 2006
Been medicated for pain related to car accidents
Obtained 3 Cats (still have 2)
Found out the man I wanted to marry is gay
Lost my best girl friend
Had a tree fall on my house
Remodeled a living room
Re-roofed a house
Attended church consistently for at least 5 months a year
Spent at least five nights at 2 different Anniversary Inns
Had 2 years with a Tax refund
Attended my 10 year High School Reunion
Joined Curves for Women
Had 4 Jobs
JC Penney Catalog
Holiday Inn Reservations
Had one job for four years
Been Employee of the Month
Locked my keys in the car twice
Locked my keys in the house once
Left headlights on once
Had to be jumpstarted twice
Driven to Boise for no reason
Supported an unemployed husband
Fixed my own plumbing
Spent a night in a hospital for a Sleep Study
Spent $300 on a cat who needed medical attention
Paid for a Partial Disk Removal
Had 3 root canals
Had 2 fights with my husband
Been in the Stake Road Show (wrote it too)
Been Young Women’s Personal Progress Assistant Advisor
Been Young Women’s Music Coordinator
Been Relief Society Chorister
Been Valiant 9 Teacher
Been Assistant Sunbeam Leader
Been Moderately to Severely Depressed
Been Medicated for Depression
Lost all interest in doing things I used to love
Gained 90 lbs
Been told I have Ovarian Cysts but later told I didn’t
Been diagnosed with Pre-Diabetes and Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
Tried 6 different kinds of birth control pills
Been told that if I don’t lose 80 pounds I may never have babies
Gotten so fat I couldn’t wear my wedding ring
Taken daily medications
Thought I was pregnant twice
Probably had one miscarriage
Cried myself to sleep countless times
Learned to cook Enchiladas
Learned to cook Fajitas
Failed at making apple pies
Learned to love Zucchini
Celebrated 4 Canadian Thanksgivings
Spent 2 nights away from my husband
Paid $700 dollars for fire alarms
Laid awake at night worrying about my cats in a fire
Had a relapse of Mononucleosis
Given my husband Mononucleosis
Suffered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Tried the “One Day Diet”
Tried the “Diet Patch”
Tried counting calories
Tried the “Atkins Diet” (this one works)
Lost 36 lbs
Been to two U2 Concerts
Been to two Barenaked Ladies Concerts
Been to the Phantom of the Opera
Been to Stomp
Purchased tickets to SPAMALOT but didn’t get to go
Waited in line for Pirates of the Caribbean movies
Waited in line for Star Wars Episodes II & III
Attended 2 civil weddings and 5 sealings
Had 2 friends die, 1 cousin, and 1 grandparent
Attended three funerals
Won $100 from a radio show
Received 3 speeding tickets
Received 1 HOV violation and
Received 1 Moving Violation for “following too close”
Discovered “International Talk Like A Pirate Day”
Read the Lord of the Rings Trilogy for the first time
12 YEARS!! That’s how long I have spent reading the Wheel of Time book series, books Zero (the prequel) to 11, plus the companion volume The World of the Wheel of Time and the comic book series New Spring that was short lived and only half finished.... 12 years *Sob Sob*
So I was introduced to this book series back in 1996 by a missionary friend (Elder McGee) He was adamant that I read these books because they were the greatest. At that time I believe there were only 6 or 7 of them. It took a while but I was finally convinced and I picked up Book One: The Eye of the World and I was hooked. Books 1-5 were really good, but Book Six started to get a little if-y on whether or not I wanted to keep reading. The writing just seemed to go down hill from there. It was like there was a lot of description and not enough action or plot and it took 4 books to actually move the plot along. It was getting very frustrating. When Book Ten was released it was so so and again I questioned my desire to read any further. Finally when Book Eleven was released the plot moved and I found that I still cared about the characters that had become so hum drum in the past few books and the plot was restored and moved and things were accomplished.... and now this. *Sigh*
It is quite disappointing to have spent so much time on something and now there seems to be no end to it. I suppose that someone whether it be his wife or personal assistant will finish the last book, but that has yet to be seen. I guess it’s time to start reading some new books.
September 17, 2007 at 2:44 PM EDT
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Author Robert Jordan, whose Wheel of Time series of fantasy novels sold millions of copies, has died of a rare blood disease, his aide said Monday. He was 58.
Jordan, whose real name was James Oliver Rigney Jr., died Sunday at the Medical University of South Carolina of complications from primary amyloidosis with cardiomyopathy, his personal assistant, Maria Simons, said. The disease attacks the body's major organs; in Jordan's case, it caused the walls of his heart to thicken.
He wrote a trilogy of historical novels set in Charleston under the pen name Reagan O'Neal in the early 1980s. Then he turned his attention to fantasy and the first volume in his Wheel of Time epic, “The Eye of the World,” was published in 1990 under the name Robert Jordan.
Jordan's books tells of Rand al'Thor, who is destined to become the champion who will battle ultimate evil in a mythical land.
Book 11, Knife of Dreams, came out in 2005; there was also a prequel, New Spring: The Novel, in 2004. The other titles in the series include The Great Hunt, Lord of Chaos and The Path of Daggers. Jordan was working on a 12th volume at the time of his death, Simons said.
He is survived by his wife, Harriet McDougal Rigney.
Me t’inks it starrrted back when I were a young lass when me older sister tried to convince me to be warin’ an eye patch for me cross-eyed self. But ever since those youngin days I be wantin’ to be a Pirate when I grows up.
I dressed like a pirate many a halloweens (and not on halloweens as well) I even be dressed like a pirate for work today. I own me own sword (though be it plastic) and a flag too (yep that be plastic as well) and me very own puffy sleeved shirt for yar enjoyment.
I have a Fisher Price Pirate Ship stashed away in me cedar box and buckles on me shoes.
However last year talk like a pirate day was interrupted by me little sister having a brain tumor but even though she was in ICU and doped up on all sorts of drugs the first thing she said to me when I walked in her hospital room was “Arrgh, I’ve got a tumor” She be a true pirate in her heart that day.
I feel very deprived that I have only known of this day for a few years now. It could have been being celebrated for years now. Garrr.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
On a daily basis I run NPDB’s, OPM/GSA’s, Board Certifications, Current State Licenses and DEA’s. I review Current Hospital Privileges, Highest level of Medical Training/Professional Training, Liability Insurance, Work History and Disciplinary Actions.
That is what I do at my job now... at my old job you could add obtaining: ECFMG’s, FSMB’s, OIG’s, ALL State Licenses, ALL Hospital Privileges past and present, ALL Education, ALL Claims History for Liability Insurance, Primary Source verify Work History... etc, etc.
Wow, that makes me sound like a busy girl. No wonder I am so tired when I get home from work every day.
All views expresed are my own and not that of Coventry Health Care.